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July 2021

June 2021

Local Gays To Smear Rainbow Paint Above Doors To Avoid Being Monetized

Members of the LGBT community around the world have all received a revelation of great calamity with the advent of June, citing vision of a plague of shameless corporate commodification and rainbow profile pictures for countries where it won't hurt their bottom line, which would culminate in each household losing their firstbought wallet to metric tons of Pride merchandise. However, the prophets RuPaul and Gaga have been commanded by the Lorde to instruct those worthy of Her protection to adorn the rim of their doors with colourful paint, in order to ward off the Angels of Monetization who would have otherwise used them to extract more cash from people desperate to seem 'with it' and 'hip'. If no rainbow paint is available, the Lorde has decreed that either nailing a plaid flannel shirt to, or setting a plate of lemon bars by the door are both an acceptable substitute. In response to this tactic, Underworld Inc. has announced the introduction of tollbooths between the different circles of Hell to make up for the lost revenue.