Michael Moore - the restaurant

(photograph kindly borrowed from the official website)
I was really hoping to have found another gem here: rated one of the Top Ten tables in London at the moment on london-eating (amongst such illustrious names as Gordon Ramsay, The Ivy and the like, and one of my favourite London eateries, the Salt Yard), but not all over the newspapers, Micheal Moore had all the chances in the world of being an untold secret. One of those places where they concentrate on top-notch cooking, rather than wasting time on their PR efforts. And with raging reviews of punters on afore-mentioned site and a "menu-du-jour" for just £15, I really thought I was on to something here... but sadly, I was disappointed.
It hit me without warning, though - the greeting by staff was exceptionally friendly, the plates of food I saw on my way in were beautifully presented, the couple next to our table were seemingly regular visitors... unfortunately, as we found out, they must have been stripped of their tastebuds in some horrible stroke of fate, I can think of no other explanation for the fact that they keep going back there - I certainly won't.
Service was exceptionally slow throughout the evening, which might be forgivable seeing that it was a warm summer's day and they had another five tables to serve outside... but this was certainly the least of my worries. It was the food that was the biggest let-down.
Carpaccio of pot-roast pork belly was perfectly bland meat, accompanied by the tinest of salads (dressed, but tasteless) with minuscule amounts of seared foie gras.
Crispy duck salad showed crispiness only in the form of a fillo parcel (Asian style)... the duck certainly wasn't crispy, even though tasty, but the julienned vegetables in the fillo pastry had had all their life sucked out of them by the frying process.
The real disaster were the mains, though: a lobster tail and shelled claws came overcooked and luke-warm at best, sitting on a dijon potato mash with the consistency of play-dough, some baby spring onions on the side were doing their best to shield off an offensive sauce which can only be described as beurre blanc with a very strong (almost artifical) lemongrass flavour (and a dollop of squid ink in the middle) and the very same plum sauce (straight from a jar from Tesco's by the taste of it) that had featured in the duck salad. Duck with hoisin sauce might work, lobster tails with dijon mash, beurre blanc and plum sauce just don't.
Our other main was corn-fed chicken, the meat poached, then probably finished off in the oven to a pleasant consistency that I couldn't fault if I tried - but the rest of the plate? A hard-boiled quail's egg rolled in the cheapest, most orangey breadcrumbs you can find anywhere, sitting on much too much wasabi, with a side of fondant potato, again, glued to the plate with wasabi, and as if we hadn't had enough of it already: some plum sauce for good measure. Everything was a treat for the eye, I have to say (check the website for some pictures), but the taste combinations were not even what one might call ambitious if they were trying to be polite, they were plainly revolting.
On top of all that, the bargain "menu-du-jour" was nowhere to be seen, starters ranged from £6 to £9, and mains go for a whopping £16 to £22, with two vegetarian options at a bargain £12. The side vegetables came in minute portions, hardly enough to feed a child, and were charged at £3.50 despite the fact that they were overcooked and absolutely tasteless.
It won't come as a surprise that we skipped dessert...

Michael Moore
19 Blandford St.
London W1U 3DG
Tel: 08712238107
Nearest tube: Bond Street

Comments

[Jeanne]

Hey - you didn't mention the other night that you were going to MM! But having read your write-up, I probably didn't miss much!! What a pity - would have been great to find an undiscovered gem...

[Dianka]

I experienced with a couple restaurants in London as well.. defintiely all about presentation. Great review though!

~Dianka
http://na-zdravi.blogspot.com/

[Sue]

Obviously your taste buds are non existent! There wouldn't be a better restaurant in London.

[George Sykes]

I just came across your article and have to completely disagree. This is one of my most favourite restaurants in London. It's one of the few that last the distance as they cater for us locals and citytypes alike. There is always something new on the menu and I can only describe it as consistently outstanding food.